Saturday May 17. I am not having a balanced food today. I did not follow a food plan. I did not start my day in prayer. I started my day on the damn scale. I felt big, fat, ugly yesterday, and it made my upset and anxious, so this morning I weighed. I expected a higher number, but it's still too high. 91 lbs is comfortable. 93 is not. It's that simple. I'm really crazy right now b/c I need to make decisions about things for the summer, and much depends on where I will be.
So food plan: not following one
ED behaviors; weighing, skipping meals, purging, lying, denying, playing w/my recovery in a sense.
Attendance: lots of meetings, will go to church in the morning.
Codependency: mucho. still care too much about what others think.