I've decided to call my sponsor at the end of the day, due to relapses after calling in the past. It's like the evil one knows I won't call her after we've just talked, so that's when he gets me. I will call her toward the end of the day and tell her how I've done, what I learned, what I struggled with, etc. My spouse is just awful to be around lately. Like, for the past couple of weeks. He's critical, judgemental, negative, demanding, selfish. He yells at his wife and kids, calls the kids demeaning names like slob, pig, punk, etc. He grills me on my activities and makes snide remarks or criticizes what I call success. I can't lean on him for support right now at all. I am leaning more on God for strength and for hope.
FOOD PLAN:
eat when hungry, eat healthy foods, record foods throughout the day on paper. Don't eat unless physically hungry.
WORKING ON STEPS:
Doing the step workbook from Celebrate Recovery. I wish we were moving thru it faster. I'm feeling held back or harnessed. I study my Bible.
GRATITUDE JOURNAL:
grateful that I'm forgiven each day for my transgressions, even when I'm committing the same ones day after day.
E.D. BEHAVIORS:
Taking Metabolife to suppress my VORACIOUS appetite. Don't know if I'm so hungry from the exercise or from the celexa dose increase, but it's scaring me to death. I hate hunger, and hate giving into it by eating. I still don't know what I weigh, and fear gaining a ton from eating so much food.
ATTENDANCE:
Went to church Sunday, went to CR Thursday night and the Tuesday before it.
PROGRESS IN CODEPENDENCY:
Spouse is bringing me down, making me anxious, repelling me from him. I'm being codependent for my children whom I feel protective over.
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